Dear New Zealand

Don’t get me wrong, I am loving Z-Land, but there are a few things I miss from home (besides the obvious family, friends, and man friend). The following is my plea to have my needs met.

Dear New Zealand,

There is so much I adore about you. I am working on my recycling so here are a few things that you can do for me:

· I would like real ketchup not that sicky tomato sauce

· Your Chips Ahoy’s look over cooked, please keep a closer eye on these while they are in the oven

· Your Oreos do not have a creamy center, it is more crumbly, please research this

· Notify your Subway that their turkey looks rotten and more like roast beef, not real appetizing

· Please do not make tea so readily accessible, I have to pee like ten times an hour, and my work may start deducting my pay for bathroom breaks

· Every household should have a microwave, I think universal healthcare should come after universal reheating

· Since there is so much to see here, I am going to need your internet to move faster, it is taking up a lot of exploring time

· Plastic bags are a way to thank your customers for choosing your store, I should not be charged for them

· Why can’t we watch the US version of E! and MTV, trust me, it far better than the UK versions

· Let’s work on some catchy tourist commercials to get the Quaker oats guy here so I can have oatmeal in the morning

· My cereal needs are not enormous all I ask is for honey nut cheerios, all your cereals look like they were made by Kashi

· You produce wool, so how about you give me a break when I go to buy wool socks, maybe $30 is a little excessive, just think about it

· Manila envelopes….get some

· Roll on deodorant? What is the fascination?

· Two words: central air

· Gas stoves are dangerous, electric are almost burn down house proof

· I watched the Today show one day and they were stating that the US is very brand savvy, let’s get some of those brands here

· Cell phones….as hazardous as they may be for driving….they are essential for world peace….global plans should be more prevalent and affordable

· Please make a kiwi to English dictionary, how am I supposed to know that partner does not imply a same sex relationship

· New Zealand these are donuts, donuts meet New Zealand

· Chicken noodle soup is a delicacy in the states, especially Campbell’s!

· If everyone works from 8 to 5 how do you expect people to come to your cute little shop if it is open the same hours?

· If you stay open, they will come, 24 hours ever heard of it

For your absolutely stunning country side and since I am so keen on your weather, I will let the above slide, but just think about. It will make me a much happier camper! I do love your meat pies, calling dinner late tea, and the vulgarity on TV!